Recently a group of 20’s something friends invited me to come for their version of game night. Being an older person myself I didn’t quite know what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised to learn when I arrived that game night was not to include any video games, using controllers or battery operated gadgets, no flashing lights, touch screens or buttons to press, but a good old fashioned board game.
We played a game called Carcassonne…it involved card tiles and meeples and strategy and good old healthy competition. There was laughing, plenty of conversation and pretend threats of taking over an opponent’s city or road. The simplicity of it all was refreshing. In today’s fast paced, technology driven world there was a slowing down and this group of 20’s something told me this is how they like to relax.
The evening made me think of the importance of “savoring“. Savoring, in the realm of positive psychology, is appreciating the positive aspects of life. It is considered the counterpart to coping skills. It is a mindful attention to an experience of pleasure…a bit like stopping to smell the roses. We often hear about tools to cope with the trials in life, but have you ever noticed how quickly those positive moments in life seem to fade?
Research has shown that savoring not only helps to build stronger relationships, but it also improves mental and physical health and assists us to become more creative problem solvers. So how does one strengthen the skill of savoring? 1. Share your positive feelings with others. Research has found that those who share these positive feelings with others are happier overall than those who do not share. 2. Take a mental picture. Stop for a moment and be aware of all that you want to remember later. 3. Sharpen your senses. Learn to get in touch with all your senses just like you might do if you were exercising a particular muscle. 4. Don’t be afraid to express true moments of joy. Laugh, dance, jump up and down and don’t be self conscious about your expression of joy. 5. Become absorbed in the moment. Stay focused on the task at hand or the moment without letting distractions take you away. 6. And lastly, remember how quickly time flies. Tell yourself consciously that you want to relish the moment. (adapted from a list of “10 Steps to Savor the Good Things in Life” by Fred Bryant, a social psychologist at Loyola University in Chicago)
Learn to savor those simple moments in your life…and don’t forget to share with others your joy in the savoring!
